Guest Blog by Alexandria King

(the opinions in this blog are not necessarily the opinions of Michelle Pearson or Wunjo-is)

Rudeness does not pay off.

As a sales representative I see my fair share of different personality types: engineers with lots of technical questions, laid back people, worried people, excited people. While each personality type requires a different approach, I am happy to answer questions, provide reassurance, or share in the excitement. One personality type, however, does not deserve my time. That personality type is the rude bully. I recently had an encounter with the rude bully that left me shaking and hurt. Husband and wife came into my sales center after they had effectively been “fired” from a previous attempted sale due to their rudeness. While the husband at first played “good cop”, the wife set in on me, demanding that I lower the price and not accepting it when I said I couldn’t. As their two children looked on, husband and wife became increasingly irate and abusive – informing me that I knew nothing, that all I knew was what had been “programmed into me”, and that I should be able to lower the price to meet their budget. Insisting that only a higher up manager would be able to answer their questions, husband and wife effectively told me that I was an idiot. I stood my ground and they finally flounced out of the sales center.

A few days later, husband, wife and children returned. This time my manager was there. Although they were aggressive at first, they were more receptive to what my manager had to say. When she told them the exact same information that I had given them, they were sweet as pie and accepted her words. This angered me even more than their bullying behaviour. Why did they treat me that way and accept what my manager had to say? Is it an age thing? A height thing? A title thing?

As a customer service provider, I can assure you that bullying does not pay off. It makes the bullied person feel resentful and angry, and therefore less inclined to do anything for you (even if they could). Treat someone the way you expect to be treated and everyone will have a better experience.

How do you handle bullies in the workplace or in your daily life? Does being friendly help you get your way or do you find that bullying does in fact work?

Tonight a note regarding perspective. It was a day of reinforcing that lesson today…for me. I am not one who pushes positivity without critical thought. I love those who are capable of thinking positively, but I also admire those who are genuine and authentic – allowing themselves the rainbow of emotions available to humans as a gift. I find Pollyanna-isms or platitudinous phrases to be trite and I feel they devalue a person’s experience. However, when one is able to both value the moment authentically AND find a way to reframe or find a new perspective, well that’s a cherishable moment for me.

The weather outside tonight is rainy and cold and because I have some physical challenges, that usually foretells a night filled with pain. But, my dog needs his nightly walk. Tonight I was able to take a moment to perceive the misty rain as romantic, to feel the pleasure of my best friend’s company (as my pup is getting older and I am trying to squeeze every moment of joy out of the time I have with him as I possibly can), and to revel in my ability to walk around the block without help. It was a wonderful stroll.

On my walk I noticed two ladies, snuggled under a blanket on their porch, enjoying a cigarette. They were giggling like little girls. We exchanged pleasantries and I admired that though they were uncomfortable being outside, they had made the most of it by giggling under a blanket and finding gratitude for an overhang that was keeping the rain off their heads.

I heard the traffic from a freeway nearby. And though I am usually not thrilled to hear a continual stream of vehicles where a short time ago I heard only the sounds of cattle lowing and coyotes howling, I smiled at the thought that at least the recession is not so bad the whole city cannot afford to drive.

And today in one of my sessions at work, a client felt as though our encounter had derailed when the conversation turned to silence and fear. I shared that in that moment, I felt as though that’s when the conversation held great promise and it was an important turn around; we had obviously shined a spot light upon something truly substantial. Once that moment had been successfully navigated, the relationship sprung into high gear filled with new-found comfort, confidence, and trust.

Mr. Steve Jobs passed away today and many in the world feel the weight of the loss. Tonight I marvel, as I type on my Mac, at how this man, who will never know my name, has deeply affected my life – so many people’s lives. I don’t see how much he will be missed, but rather how much he will be remembered.

Perspective. Sometimes when you’re deep in the thick of darkness, it is difficult to see a positive perspective. I think this is acceptable as it allows you to develop tolerance and compassion for others who struggle. My wish for you tonight is that when you are released from those times of darkness you might find a way to observe the new perspective you found. Perhaps those times could be compared to one who is blind and one has sight. Just because one is blind and can only observe darkness, it does not mean he is unhappy or cannot get anything out of each experience. And just because someone can see colour and brightness, it does not mean she will only have joyful experiences or can see all that has occurred in front of her. Blind people often detect more in their darkness than sighted people detect in the light. A mind open to many differing perspectives will likely experience more valuable moments of growth both in darkness and in light.

I've been asked, or more accurately TOLD often, what constitutes "professionalism" in business writing, cards, websites, brochures, resumes, and the like. What I find intriguing is no one can tell me who makes these rules. Is there a governing body I can address and ask why they have created such rules? And do these rules make people happy?

What IS professionalism? Well dictionary.com states:

As I delve deeper into cultural studies and communication, I find the power struggle concerning "professionalism" more and more curious. Perhaps I will do a research project regarding this subject in the future. I have always bucked convention and recommended others do the same. Why on earth would you work so hard to fit in when you were made to stand out? (Thus the reason we don't have a pale blue or green typically corporate looking website - and why our titles include: Head Honcho, All Around Good Guy, and Everythingologist!)

To be clear, I am not recommending anyone start behaving in a way that makes others truly uncomfortable. Just do what is AUTHENTIC for you. You will attract the businesses or employers that are complimentary to you and therefore a better fit... which will result in a happier work life. There are some who think all the photos on my website should be "professionally done" (well actually most are, just not in a studio). There are some who believe I don't look "corporate" enough. Well.... they're right. The very basis of my business is authenticity. I have plenty of professional photographs. I used to be in the business of professional photography. I chose photos of me and the people who work with me that are more natural, down-to-earth, and approachable. The people who resonate with these photos will work well with us and enjoy our services. Clients know exactly what kind of people we are as our character is portrayed clearly in our natural states. There are no masks, no facades, and no PR spins.

Does this make us any less professional? Look at the accolades.... not a bit!

By Alexandria King

“The woman is like a cucumber”: this was a line from a Turkish students’ essay. “What do you mean by cucumber? Do you mean that she is green? That she is a cold woman?”. “No teacher, she is like a cucumber.” I continued to prod for meaning. Frustrated, the student returned to his fellow students to discuss the meaning. After much discussion, it was revealed that cucumber = ugly.

I spent three and a half years in Turkey, teaching English to young adults and encountered countless translation issues. What makes sense in one language does not necessarily make sense in another. I was often able to understand the meaning and help them change it in to a valid English translation, but oftentimes, I simply had to cross it out and ask the student to re-write it. This was quite frustrating as I wanted to help them improve their language skills, use English idioms and sayings, but I was too often at a loss trying to figure out their meaning.

Cross-cultural communication is challenging, but it is so important. As a Canadian teacher in Turkey, I was something of a novelty. Often viewed with suspicion as being too close to American or a non-Muslim, I opened up to the students and showed that I had nothing to hide. They asked thousands of questions about Canada and I answered them as best I could through pictures and stories. They taught me more about Turkey than I could ever have learned as a mere traveler. I learned about Turkish history, world history from a Turkish point of view, I was taught about football/soccer (“Teacher! How do you not like football!”), and they also tried to teach me Turkish.

The Western media paints the Islamic world in an unfavorable, biased light. While my students were far from extremists, I learned tons about their world and their religion. Never once did they shun me for being a non-Muslim (although, they did on occasion try to convert me) and they were always intrigued about my background and culture.

While our communication may not have been perfect and often incomprehensible, the fun we had trying to understand each other, and the relationships we built will be with me forever. Understanding the meanings and the sayings of another culture will help avoid potential misunderstandings and conflict.  One needs to approach cross-cultural communication with patience and openness, and not take offense to something that may be mis-communicated. Travel, communication, and openness are what will change our world from the insular, fearful world we now have, and allow for greater understanding and friendships.

I'm thrilled to announce the blog is up and running again.

As I delve further into my masters program in professional communication, I am realizing that I need to resurrect our blog along with our ramped up marketing campaign. I would like to announce Wunjo’s new “Everythingologist” Alex King. Please welcome her to the team.

Also, we are in the middle of another year with the SAIT x-ray program and we have just completed another fantastic gig with SAIT in the Ultrasound program and out Inter-Actors were once again AMAZING.  We received a wonderful testimonial from Carrie sharing her experience with our Inter-Actors. The letter is long and full of accolades that make me burst with pride, so I will share a few tid bits with you:

“Professionalism is very difficult to assess without bias.  The Inter-Actors have experience in assessing this and have had no prior knowledge of the students’ abilities.  The Inter-Actors were well versed in what to look for while the student was performing the ultrasound.  Their feedback was very valuable.  Some comments from the Inter-Actors were items that as sonographers or instructors we wouldn’t necessarily perceive…Overall we can see a huge advantage to having access to using Inter-Actors.  I have only skimmed what was apparent to me during my short exposure as to where this might lead in future simulation labs.”  ~ Carrie DMS program SAIT

In the future, I will be posting about news, updates, client encounters (that we’ve been given permission to share!), tips, and hopefully lots of guest posts from Inter-Actors and clients. I hope you’ll join me in the endeavor.

So share, share, share with your friends. Join our community. Post your comments. Join in the dialogue!  I hope you will want to explore the experience of Inter-Actors! I look forward to hearing YOUR thoughts....

I'm starting my process of blogging with a rather short thought. Today I wish to offer to you a thought regarding perspective. Perspective is a way of viewing one's situation(s) or idea(s). It seems this might be a better blog for my other company, however, I find it fitting for this site as well. Fitting because as I update my website, I notice that I have a new perspective on the information revealed here.

That new perspective comes from more life experience. I am human, and like many of my clients and loved ones, I have times when I consider myself or my situation very seriously and intently. I elevate the importance of the particular situation or thought to heights or stress levels that are over-reaching. I truly believe this is comon and human. But then something happens, either in my life directly, or more often in my "world family", that puts things in perspective.

Relatively recently, we've been witness to devastating earthquakes, tsunamis, revolutionary protests, unexplainable and utterly unfair incurable illnesses, and violence either random or methodical. I believe earnestly that all people not only have a right to feel their own uncomfortable moments, but that it is a necessesary process in order to reach resolution. However, once fully aware and present in that uncomfortable moment, if possible (and it isn't always possible), perhaps try to view that moment or thought through a new lens; not a comparative lens, as I think that would be to negate your own situation or feelings, but perhaps a looking glass where some things get bigger and others get smaller. In other words, is it possible that this particular set of thoughts or situation will look differently to you at another time? In another moment? Is it possible that what you are seeing needs attention in this moment? Is it possible that what you are experiencing will look or feel different to all the people around you experiencing the same event?

We are all our own being. And as Wade Davis pointed out, no one is a failed attempt at being you (nor you at being them). It IS possible that you are meant to be feeling exactly what you are feeling in this very moment. I invite you to sit IN it. Try not to feel "comfortable", just feel what you feel and see what grows from that. Become AWARE. And allow others the same journey. Just thoughts....